All of us have problems with someone or the other, including ourselves. There are things that bother us. We might think as to why we end up doing the wrong thing when all we ever wanted was to do the right one. Or why do we end up getting hurt by someone? Did we expect too much or the person who hurt us did not even realise that we’re hurt because of them? There are many issues that bother us but most of us here think that it’s better to keep our mouth shut and ignore the problem.
But here is the thing- for how long will we ignore it? Is ignoring the right thing to do? Will it actually help us with our problem?
If you have issues with someone, say it out loud to them. Shout it out at them. Do not keep things inside yourself because by doing that you’re doing nothing but hurting yourself. The issue that you’re keeping inside you is like a poison because it is not letting you live in peace. You think about it and it eats you up. You feel devastated. How pathetic would you feel if the person who is closest to you wasn’t there with you when you needed them the most? How miserable would you feel when you don’t get what you feel you deserve despite doing all the good deeds? These are just some examples. The pain that one feels cannot be described in words.
(One short note: One shouldn’t totally ‘victimize’ themselves, but you should tell that person what the real problem is so that he/she is able to understand and share your feelings. There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy)
This is something I’ve seen and felt. The other day, my classmates and I were having a discussion about our problems. People came out with their problems and issues. Be it with themselves or the others, they mentioned everything that bothered them. While telling their problems, not only they cried but the others who were listening also cried. The ache was felt by every single person sitting in that room. The ones who were listening to these problems burst out in tears because they were also able to relate to those problems. Some of them felt sad as to how did they not see the other person going through so much, and couldn’t even help them? Do people hide their problems very well or are people so busy in their lives that they are not able to see what other people are going through? Or do they simply choose to ignore the problems of other people?
Firstly, it takes a lot of confidence to speak out your problems in front of everyone. When you do, you need those answers right now- after keeping these thoughts and questions within yourself for a long time, you deserve to have those answers. There is no guarantee that the response might always be positive; you might not get the answers you were looking for, which would hurt you a lot, but at the end, you got that thing out of your mind. Now you won’t blame yourself or keep wondering about that problem. It might take time but it would soon stop bothering you. You’ll feel better at the end.
I might be sounding a bit crazy here because some people might think that it is easy to solve conflicts because all you have to do is talk, but, as I mentioned earlier, it takes strength to speak about that problem, because you never know, you might end up worsening your problem; there is a fair chance of resolving it but also there is a chance of ruining that particular situation even more. And after feeling devastated, one doesn’t really feel like taking that risk because it might not be worth it.
Recently I witnessed something of this kind, so I felt that this was something very important and something I should be sharing with everyone.